Egg-ita, Micro-egg, or Lil' Eggie and other farm happenings.

This week when we went to our chicken coop we found this cutie from one of our newest hens.  We got so many laughs out of this little specimen.    She must have been proud.  At first, we laughed that possibly a reptile might have infiltrated their ranks and laid an egg.  Then, Caleb added, "this egg is perfect for Bugie (our 10 mos. old)."

I am hoping she can do better next time to kind of fill out the egg carton. 

Well, at least we won't starve tomorrow. 

Thanks Nana.

My little "cooker" preparing for Sarah's Party!

Doesn't she look thrilled?

Proud owner

 Knothead really enjoyed his mobile mining field trip.  He is destined to be a teacher. He came home all fired up about sorting out his opaque, translucent, and transparent rock/mineral finds.  His pupils were less interested in his lesson than he had hoped; welcome to the world of education buddy! 

 

Reflections on our first foster parenting experience (Note: I wrote this when I thought it was over!)

Reflections on our first foster parenting experience

First of all, if you didn’t read the post about why we are considering adoption in 2009 it is here: http://dearabbyc.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-we-are-considering-adoptionthe.html.  If you did not read, “Why Foster Parent” in 2012 it is here: http://dearabbyc.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-foster-parent_7372.html. 

When we were ready to adopt we were sure that we needed a baby; we got a 2 year old!  When we were ready to foster, we thought we needed a 2 year old; we got a newborn.  God’s plans have been so right, so perfect, and so wonderful.  Thank you Jesus that when we make ourselves available you do all the work and you know just what we need. The choice to say yes is indeed the hardest part!

So, upon the upcoming departure of my first foster baby (OR SO I THOUGHT WHEN I WROTE THIS) I thought that I would share my reflections on this journey so that despite all the emotional strain that I might candidly share, you might consider it a journey worth taking yourself. 

*Disclaimer: By this one experience I do not regard myself any sort of expert on these matters. I can point you to those who are. I am only sharing my story so far. 

So, I guess you are wondering, would I do this again?

Yes. I would love all over again…even if I knew this outcome.  God is faithful. 

As the Message Bible says…I can’t think of a better ministry to “place your life before God” then this one.

Romans 12:  Place Your Life Before God

12 ^1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Even though you sign up to foster parent and you know “the deal” no one can prepare you for 3 social workers entering your house with a large blanket and a tiny baby.  Unlike having your own child, love is not instant.  At first, it is just work…hard work. Even in the middle of the nights, though, there was never a time I really felt like my investment in this little life did not feel...well, right.  Still, it does not take long for love “to hatch.”  That is just the best way to describe it.  I wrote this about the experience at the 6 mos. mark.  and then just finished up hurriedly.

If you ever wonder…

You came a tiny 10- day-old bundle in a large, soft blanket,

Tiny legs like twigs…our first foster child,

And you were KNOWN.

I prayed and swayed and prayed and fed you all through the night,

Your soft and lovely hair to stroke…

And you were suddenly LOVED.

I bounced, I patted. I swayed some more and then there were those

Chubby legs and kissable cheeks…

And you were undeniably TREASURED.

I sang and chatted and laughed and smiled and then came your

Coos, goos, and sideways smiles then

Full open-mouth grins…

And you were ADORED.

You began to babble and moan yourself to sleep, make other sweet sounds to my ears,

Then constant smiles that makes everyone your friend and all your giggles of delight…

Six months went by and you were completely CHERISHED.  

At nine months we say goodbye for now, but you will be a part of our family forever.

Jesus loves you so much and has such a special plan for your life.  So despite my heart breaking, I am still BLESSED to have loved you for a small part of your very special life.  

 

There may be other foster babies one day, but there will only EVER be one _____!  You have been so dear and special to us this first part of your life.  You have brought our entire family so much joy.  We are going to miss you like crazy.  It has been a blessing to love you 9 mos in person, but forever in reality. 

We love you,

Your foster Mom and family

There have been many song lyrics that have sustained me on the emotional ride this year.  Still, this one has sustained me as I prepare for letting go…for surrender.  It is going to hurt.  This ione and "I Surrender All!"

1. Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
   Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
   Mold me and make me after Thy will,
   While I am waiting, yielded and still.
2. Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
   Search me and try me, Master, today!
   Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
   As in Thy presence humbly I bow.
3. Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
   Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
   Power, all power, surely is Thine!
   Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.
4. Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
   Hold o’er my being absolute sway!
   Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see
   Christ only, always, living in me.

Q:  What about our birth children?

Many of you would like to know how foster parent might influence your children as well.  For my children, they have relished it. They have loved it. They have enjoyed her and delighted in her. From the start, they knew she might go.  They are sad, yes; they are sad about the leaving, but they know most all of the story and are coping well.  All of them want to do it again.  We have had a great support system that has enabled us to still do fun things with them this summer baby-free, and I think being protective and planning time just for them has mattered, too.  Still, not one of them has expressed jealousy that I thought might exist.  I think they just love her so purely themselves that it has not been an issue.  Many have said that they thought we should wait until our kids are older and don’t need us as much.  To that I still say that right NOW is when their hearts are soft and fertile to grow love, compassion, and empathy and I can unequivocally say that they have changed, become more Christ-like and more compassionate. Is this not our job, our goal as parents?  Our first duty?  When our kids are older, this may change, but I don’t know that J and I will desire young children then.  While we have the energy and our family is set up with me at home, it still seems like a good ministry fit for us for now. 

…And to think I was EVER worried about how my kids might handle taking on a foster child.  J's writing today really brought the tears.  God is so faithful to send just the right children to love at just the right time.  "All the ways I love bugie. She's very intelagent and smart.  She loves to learn.  Mostly doesn't criy.  Shes cute and cudaley.  She have betiful skin.  I love bugie.  I hope she becoms a chrischin little girl.  Bugie I hope you go to a good family." 

(Added note: It did not go well when she left. It was horribly sad for our oldest two that were so attached to her. It was painful that I felt like we caused them pain.  It was devastating to hear them cry, even though they can understand it well.  Were they STILL ready to do it again? YES.  They have bought into "the joy" that serving brings, even though they have felt the loss.)

Q:  What about all the things not written on paper about foster parenting?

There are many, mostly emotional, intangibles involved in foster parenting (little did I  grasp how true this would be just two weeks later).  Yes, there is the training required (28 hours in 2 years).  Then, there are other DHEC meetings, inspections, social worker visits weekly and monthly, guardian ad litem visits, paper work projects, doctor appointments, court dates (you can choose not to go), foster care review board meetings, and for me weekly visits with birth family (you can choose to transport or not), monthly foster parent meetings (you don’t have to go), and yearly fire inspections.   At times, being involved with DSS becomes more like a 2^nd job of appointments then just caring for a child. And, I had a healthy one!  Many times there are many appointments/therapies to attend.  I am not going to lead you astray!  Still, once you love a child it doesn’t feel like “too much” when you look into that face. 

We have had 4 foster kids for respite care so far, and even those placements were just right for us.  WILD, but fun too! I have prayed that they would only call with cases I know He can equip me to handle. 

This blog post …well, he says a lot of great things about Christians and orphan care. 

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/16/my-take-on-adoption-christians-should-put-up-or-shut-up/.

For us, this has been a good way to flesh out our walk with Christ:

"We often forget that the Christian walk is not merely about getting us into heaven, but it is also about getting heaven into us. This is why our Lord gave us the Beatitudes, the Sermon on the Mount, and the parable of the Good Samaritan. Thus, it is no surprise that the apostle James offers this injunction to the Early Church: 'Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world' (James 1:27, kjv). This scripture might not be a call for us all to be called to loving orphans (though I think in small ways we all can), but to do something wholeheartedly for the Lord to stay detached from the glitz and captivating enticements for our time and money that this world provides. 

Russell Moore, Adopted for Life.

Books you might want to check out if you think God is working on your heart for orphans:

Radical, By David Platt  

Journey to the Fatherless, L. Bergeron

Adopted for Life, Russell Moore

Suffering is just part of walking with God and living out his call.  One day it will “pay” off!  

If you are Christian then you’re claiming to want to be like a “man of sorrow,” our God sent his son to SUFFER; His word is clear that all our troubles are “light and momentary” compared to our reward in heaven.  

Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 2: 3.

I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. Phil 3:10.

Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22, ESV)

1 Peter 3:13-20 NIV¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats^[a]; do not be frightened.”^{[b] 15} But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. ¹⁷ For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. (It is clear that loving the orphan is His will see James 1:27).¹⁸ For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 3:3 so that no man may be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. 10 Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Will pain be purposeful?

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow toward us, so also our comfort through Christ overflows to you.

1 Peter 1:6 This brings you great joy, although you may have to suffer for a short time in various trials.

At the foster parent appreciation dinner this year, I left thinking this thought:  I was never in a sorority (just not something I ever had an interest in doing or the funds since I went out of state for college), but if I was in one, the ladies at that dinner would have been who I wanted to do life with.  The foster parents I have met so far defy every bad news story and every comment I’ve ever heard (“they do it for the money,” “they do it for all the wrong reasons.”)   

I have not met ONE foster parent who loved a child for the wrong reasons or for the 10 dollars a day given to them to work for 24 hours a day.  These people share their “spare” time, space, rooms, closets, food, cars, vacations, clothes, kids, grandparents, and their very lives with these children entrusted to them.  They do more than just give care; they truly love their children and ride many emotional roller coasters with these children in care along the way.  If you say you could never foster parent because you could not let the children go, I am here to tell you it seriously pains them when they (we) do. I have heard their stories this year, and now I have felt the pain myself. I have heard foster parents absolutely break down in front of our group over letting go of a special child years ago.  This is NOT something they were magically given the ability to do.  And, if you say that to them, “I could never do that,” well, they might take that to mean that you think they are heartless beasts. No, this is not the fun part of loving a foster child…for anyone.  It is just part of the calling that we all believe in.  It is something we have to do because the police will come and get them if we don’t give them back.  It is something we do because we know there are other kids that need the love and space our families have to offer. It is something we do because we knew when we signed the line that might have to be done, but loving is still worth the loss in the end.

Q:  So, I guess you are wondering, would I do this again?

Yes. I would love all over again…even if I knew this outcome.  God is faithful.  She was worth investing in even though I will never know her final outcome.  Though she was only in our lives for 9 mos. she will surely be part of our family and hearts forever.

P.S. She is back here!  We are still waiting for God to roll out permanent plans in her life! 

The best of days and the worst of days...

 This quote by Charles Dickens sums up some of my days in this season of life: 

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us..."

There are days (like yesterday) where it certainly seems like the worst of times and I want a PAYING job.

One child is whining and bored when he owns a Wii, DS, ipad, and Legos.  He pitches a fit about eating grilled chicken for dinner. 
 --I offer rice and beans for supper if I hear one more word.

One child acts like a spoiled brat when I say no to things like Sprite and Cookies, among other things.
--I yell for him to quit asking me for JUNK and quit bringing junk for me to look at and say no to.   

One child is disobedient at every turn and full of drama.
--I send her to her room where I eventually have to go and still "deal" with disruptions b/c she is screaming to get out of that same room every 2 mins or less.

BUT...then those same children...
Beg me not to go back to work because they like me investing in them instead of my bank account.
Play an animal trivia game with me and know EVERY answer...even some that I don't.
Run to find me when he catches the largest bullfrog he's ever seen and delights in sharing it with me.
Looks at me during reading lessons and says, "ooo a good mama," sealed with a kiss.

There are days when I get tired of the "age of foolishness," filled with kids with no manners, but lots of demands.  But it is also a season of LIGHT!  I see them growing with hearts of compassion every day before my eyes. They delight in caring for a baby they love so dearly.   They light up my life with joy, and love, and funny things.  Still, there are days it seems dark and that I am not pointing them well, towards the Lord, but instead fussing, griping, demanding, and cajoling to get them to move my way towards a meal or homework or the van.  Then, there are those "springs of hope" in each day that I see that feeling like a slave to this family is all worth it.  During my "winters of despair" living on one income with  quite a wishlist I realize that this time is short, and precious, and coming to a close and that I should instead focus on the springy-feeling moments.  The moments where Skeeter makes sure that brother is going to be in heaven with her one day because, "she wants to walk with him."  Thank you Lord Jesus for making all things new each morning.  I need you so much to get me through the winter days of despair as a mother!

So, I had to also go back to a book I read this summer called Unglued by Lisa Terkeurst.  Page 23 reads:
 " I have a choice to think destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts right now.  I can wallow in what is wrong and make things worse, or I can ask God for a better perspective to help me see good even when I don't feel good."
2 Corinthians 10: 5-Take those thoughts captive! 

"I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control." Yesterday, I admittedly, was a bit out of control myself.  So, I have just decided that we were all "bad" yesterday.    Bad moments don't make bad mamas, and I am so thankful for new mercies! 

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Operation Christmas Child World Peace Solutions by Cay

I was explaining the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes to my middle one morning.  Later that day in the van, he told me he had a GREAT idea about what to send the kids in Haiti and Africa.  He said in our box we should put a few "baby guns" then when the bad guys come they could just shoot them if they try to hurt them or bomb them.  Well, after getting over the shock I replied that I don't think Franklin Graham would send our box his rebuttal was perfect, "well, then, we'll just send some little spears."  I am sure he has plans to craft these himself. 

Cay had a great soccer season compared to last year when he really was NOT into it and we dropped out!  He scored twice, which is awesome since they play on a gigantic field and VERY few kids ever score.  He had fun hanging out with his friend Eli and made some new friends as well.

Fun at Frankie's Fun Park with Cousins

The other shots are of Rooster in the great outdoors, where he has always, always been really "into it!" He found this turtle that we named Franklin, did a lot of off-trail exploring, and climbed a load of “ginormous” rocks.  This kids is fun, fun, fun to be with.  When we are not homeschooling he can currently be found catching lizards, and playing Legos.