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| Barely caught him before his first tooth fell out! |
How is it that today's parents, raising 2 kids, feel more stress than did parents 50 years ago who were raising five kids? This question from Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond has really compelled me to do some thinking this summer!
See if you are raising a socio-path...this got me?! These are the 3 beliefs that form the core of a criminal/sociopath:
1- What I want, I deserve to have (entitlement).
2-Because I am entitled to what I want, the ends justify the means (pragmatism).
3- The rules don't apply to me; therefore, no one has a right to deny me or stand in my way (narcissism).
"people locked in maximum security prisons-score higher on self-esteem than any other group."
Other quotes I loved:
"under the circumstances, he has every right to believe that his parents exist for the sole purpose of serving him..."
"Authority, legitimately exercised, slowly liberates the human spirit, which is creative and loving, from the prison of human nature, which is anything but."
"Baumeister (a researcher) discovered that people with high self-esteem ten to have low self-control...they dont' handle defeat or disappointment well..."
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| This little boy lights up my every minute! |
Respect--learn to submit to authority and others.
Responsibility-taking accountability for their own actions ( he talks a bit about how teachers should not dread calling parents b/c we all used to be on the same team and you could count on parents to discipline kids..but now...the kids are always innocent and it's always the teacher's fault.
Resourcefulness (my kids have a way to go here) a hang in there, figure it out, tough it out attitude when challenged.
"Ironically, the ubiquitous effort to make children happy is putting them at risk for becoming perpetual malcontents." OUCH.
Our Long-Term Childrearing Goals:
Integrity, self-control, loving-kindness, unselfishness, compassion, service.
I have said it before and we tweak them a bit...but they stay about the same. Even though Rosemond doesn't come out and say you should have objectives, he does say that you should keep the 30 year goal in mind and not even a 5 or10 year goal.
This can be a struggle when the world says that the most important attribute your child should have (or so it seems) is to be a star ball player. Just look where people spend their time/money (my kids do play sports some seasons...but it doesn't take our lives over like some I know.
A quote I liked from his book--"I'm sorry, but watching a child play a sport and cheering from the sidelines does NOT constitute a family activity." That is going to make some folks mad I am sure.
I took the NLV and the NIV and combined them to come up with this:
Crooks Family Verse- Romans 12:
9-Don’t just pretend to love others; really love them. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
10-Be devoted to one another; honor one another.
11-Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.
12-Be joyful in hope, patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
13-When people are in need-help them.
22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools
25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
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| My favorite family picture to date! |
Book Description from Amazon
Picture respectful, responsible, obedient children who entertain themselves without television or video games, do their own homework, and have impeccable manners. A pie-in-the-sky fantasy? Not so, says family psychologist and bestselling author John Rosemond. Any parent who so desires can grow children who fit that description -- happy, emotionally healthy children who honor their parents and their families with good behavior and do their best in school.In the 1960s, American parents stopped listening to their elders when it came to child rearing and began listening instead to professional experts. Since then, raising children has become fraught with anxiety, stress, and frustration. The solution, says John, lies in raising children according to biblical principles, the same principles that guided parents successfully for hundreds of years. They worked then, and they still work now!
Through his nationally syndicated newspaper column and eleven books, John has been helping families raise happy, well-behaved children for more than thirty years. In Parenting by The Book, which John describes as both a "mission and a ministry," he brings parents back to the uncomplicated basics. Herein fi nd practical, Bible-based advice that will help you be the parent you want to be, with children who will be, as the Bible promises, "a delight to your soul" (Pro. 29-17). As a bonus, John also promises to make you laugh along the way.
"The risks of attempting to raise a child w/out regard for God's blueprint ...include a child who is ill-behaved, disrespectful, destructive and self-destructive, irresponsible, inattentive, careless, aggressive, self-centered, deceitful..." The risks to a child's parents include chronic frustration, stress, anxiety, anger, resentment, conflict, and guilt." Sound familiar? I hope not...but I have to say YES! Through his nationally syndicated newspaper column and eleven books, John has been helping families raise happy, well-behaved children for more than thirty years. In Parenting by The Book, which John describes as both a "mission and a ministry," he brings parents back to the uncomplicated basics. Herein fi nd practical, Bible-based advice that will help you be the parent you want to be, with children who will be, as the Bible promises, "a delight to your soul" (Pro. 29-17). As a bonus, John also promises to make you laugh along the way.
What is his fix you say? Commanding communication, consistency, and consequences that compel.
My paraphrase of one of his sentences: Love is not enough to raise a functional child. I wish it was!
