Well, today I decided I was going to go back to writing more about the books I am reading. I used to do that a lot when I first started blogging. I thought..."What book do I really need to review?" The first book that caught my eye was Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel, yes, "Blair" from the "Facts of Life". Lately, I have been noticing that I am losing self-control ALMOST as much as Jeb and Caleb and the result has been a raising of my voice! I hate that. So, today I took one of her many tips out of her book and I am putting it to use and having a conference with Jeb when he gets home today. For starters, one of our long-term training objectives for our kids is self-control b/c that covers so many other problems sooooo we gotta work on that this summer...both of us. I am NOT going to spend my summer with us BOTH being frustrated with each other. So, I made him a journal. After all, he can read and write now! So, I wrote him a note with my desire to love him better and listen more and be more patient AND what I desire for him to work on. I also wrote a couple entries about what I love about him. He can read those when I send him to his room for being out of control. My plan is to write in it some nights after he goes to bed. I also told him he can write in it to me and explain his frustration (as best he can). Today (before 7am) I put them both in time-out and they were still name-calling. So, I have decided that they both have rooms and I am going to start using them instead of raising my voice so much. The catch is that I have to stop what I am doing to go and let them out and maybe even put them there--and that is where I have dropped the ball lately. I have been reacting to their behaviors instead of responding with corrective discipline and I need to work on that before we are all here together this summer. Anyway, I have noticed that he likes to write so maybe he can get out some of his frustrations with us and I can write some encouragement to him in his journal AND his time in his room gives me time to get cool and calm--something I have needed to do more of lately.
Prov. 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning,and pleasant words promote instruction.
Basically, when I read my proverb for the day I realized that words yelled at a loud volume are not TEACHING anything...and I shouldn't use them if they aren't valuable words.
James 1:20 The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
Back to the book...
She says that God was a good parent and yet Adam and Eve still sinned so ya know sin has more to do with the default condition of the heart than my parenting...but still our job is to train and mold so we only get one chance and we better do it right and start early! "Ignoring moral issues when the implications are toddler-size can reap perilous, teenager-size repercussions."
"Teaching our children to obey us and our words is primarily teaching them to obey God and His Word." I think we can all agree that obey's God's Word is for our kids best and so they can live an abundant life like He promises.
Question to ask: "How could you have handled it differently, in a way that would have been more pleasing to Jesus?"
Letting kids have a "do-over" when they come in a room whining or complaining...I might try this one soon.
We did have a nice talk today and we "practiced" doing right and then doing wrong (which was funny) and correcting that behavior and even practicing the consequence. I hope that we can BOTH play our roles when the time comes!
One thing I am still trying to persistently do is to pray that they will be close and enjoy each other. Ideally, it is harder to hit and name-call to someone who is truly your genuine friend!
I also made some flashcards with my favorite scriptures that I need to read often and the boys could benefit from doing something productive before/during/after discipline! I don't know how to put those cards here so email me if you'd like me to send you the PDF.
I by no means think that my kids are going to turn out to be something b/c of anything I did, but in despite of me and only thanks to God...STILL, I hope to be found obedient to raising them God's way and then I'll leave "results" to him.
The pics: It is swimming and sprinkler time again! Yeah!
My roses that I love!
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